


Loud and clear

by mymusicalbox



Category: K (Anime)
Genre: Fluff and Angst, LSW and MOR references, M/M, Tumblr Prompts, crappy ending, ooc??, prompts
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-03-19
Updated: 2016-03-19
Packaged: 2018-05-27 17:35:29
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,483
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6293506
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mymusicalbox/pseuds/mymusicalbox
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>No matter how many times he used his voice to scream trivialities or important things that everyone had to hear and know, Misaki had spent way too much time avoiding something important.</p><p> </p><p>Or: short oneshot based off the prompt "things you said at the top of your lungs"</p>
            </blockquote>





	Loud and clear

**I**

 

For 12 year-old Yata Misaki, speaking loud and clear had never been a problem and never would be. If he had something to say, he'd say it without regrets. Acting wholeheartedly, pursuing justice and pushing things way too much was also one of Misaki's greatest traits. Maybe he was too pushy and obnoxious to his surroundings and even himself, but that didn't seem to bother him at all. He just done what he had to when he had to and said what he had to when he believed it was the appropriate thing. That's why he didn't hesitate at acting when he saw some bullies picking on a guy who happened to be in his class. Trying to help Fushimi Saruhiko (they ended up beaten by those guys, but they eventually left the first-years alone, so that's all that counts) was something he wouldn't regret a single bit. It didn't matter if the black haired boy with glasses seemed to tease him, mocking him for _wanting gratitude,_ Misaki just helped a boy who was being picked on for having money with him.

 

Perhaps he had wanted the others's gratitude in some point of his life, perhaps he just wanted some friends in order to cover his insecurities. He didn't even have a place to call his own, anyway. Convinced as he was that he hadn't done anything wrong, that he had always been on the side to fight against bullies, the redhead was left absolutely mortified when he saw how his friends were badmouthing him via Jungle. Even Fushimi felt a little bit of pity towards him, despite claiming not being interested in Misaki at all. The day after he had realized he was now left alone, the redhead went to lock himself in one of the bathroom's cubicles, and a few minutes later he saw Fushimi in the cubicle next to his. Seeing him with his modified PDA, crushing his enemies even if it was just a game, made him want to tell the whole world how amazing Fushimi was. After that, Misaki began admiring Fushimi, no, _Saruhiko,_ more and more. Specially after having seen the taller boy _laughing_ that night when they and Oogai couldn't reach the blimp. Now he knew that he _didn't want gratitude,_ he just wanted to be by Saruhiko's side, seeing him laugh, wiping his tears away if he had to, engaging in an important mission with him. He couldn't help but have the constant feeling of wanting to tell _everyone_ how absolutely amazing his best friend was. Therefore, as direct as he was, Misaki explained that weird feeling to his friend whenever he wanted to, though this type of conversation was most likely to appear during their lunch at the rooftop.

 

“You know, Saruhiko? I wanna scream at the top of my lungs how absolutely amazing you are” Misaki said, eating his lunch, which obviously had vegetables in it.

 

“You are _always_ saying it, Misaki, I don't need you to say it again” Saruhiko answered, staring at Misaki and his healthy-yet-awful because vegetables lunch.

 

“But everyone must know how fucking awesome you are. Everyone should know that. And don't call me that” After that, silence fell awkwardly over both of them, but broke a few minutes later, just when Misaki ran out of patience.

 

“Still, I don't really know why I just keep wanting to say it. I feel like it's not enough even if I say it a hundred of times”.

 

As dense as he was, the redhead ended up assuming that he was captivated by his best friend, _but do best friends give you this funny feeling on your stomach? Are all best friends that handsome? Are all best_ _friend’s_ _lips that apparently soft?_ Those questions remained unsolved, and so did the _real thing_ Misaki wanted to scream at the top of his lungs.

 

**II**

 

“We are HOMRA! See this mark? This represents our pride, so don't fuck with our territory or we will reduce you to ashes!” Misaki shouted, grin on his face, absolutely excited, wanting everyone to notice how cool HOMRA was.

 

It all happened in a storm of experiences. Misaki and Saruhiko were now living together, they found an apartment to share after ending middle school. Now, they were a part of HOMRA. Suoh Mikoto had saved them, had saved Saruhiko when he was about to die, with Misaki only longing for his best friend to be saved, unable to save him himself. But all this impotence was now gone, now he had power, he could overcome everything. No matter how many years passed, Misaki kept being the same cheerful, noisy and awfully sincere boy Saruhiko had known in middle school. Or almost. They lived together now, they owned a place with bunk beds, though they used to sleep together. That was right, everyone knew the Yata Misaki who would destroy everything blabbering about pride and running carelessly into danger, but only the black haired boy with glasses knew that boy who liked to cling into him during his sleep.

 

Misaki wasn't the only one who screamed or said things at the top of his lungs. Well, he was the only one who did it, because no matter how many times Saruhiko tried to, he never could. He never could say those three words to his friend, slowly drifting away from him. No matter how many times he had thought about voicing them, he was never able to do so. Eventually, all this anxiety began haunting him even in his dreams, more likely nightmares.

 

_Wait! Misaki! Don't leave! Misaki! I--_

 

“Saruhiko, are you alright? You had a bad dream, right? You don't need to worry, I'm here, I'm here for you. There's nothing to be scared of, I will stay by your side. I will come if you call for me, no matter what”. Oddly enough, that night, when he had woken up drenched in sweat and his best friend had hugged him while swearing those things, he believed him. He tried to believe him. But in the end, everything went to waste. He couldn't call him. And Misaki would have left anyway. In his dream, he had said those three words and if he hadn't woken up, other three more words he had always been wanting to tell to the redhead, would have slip from his mouth. But everything was over now. Misaki was slowly leaving him, so he decided to leave first.

 

**III**

 

This couldn't be happening to him. Saruhiko, his former best friend, now that guy who betrayed HOMRA, left. It was as simple as that, he just left to join Scepter 4. As always that something happened to him, Misaki needed to voice his feelings, only if voicing his feelings meant fighting against his now enemy, asking over and over why did he _betray HOMRA_ when all he wanted to know was why did _he betray him._ Did he do something wrong? Yeah, sure, he worshipped Mikoto and loved HOMRA, but hell, both saved him, saved Saruhiko! Misaki wasn't able to understand just why the fuck Saruhiko left, and that annoyed him even more. It didn't matter the amount of times he screamed how much he hated that stupid traitor, there would always be something inside of him wanting to actually tell the truth. Because at the end, maybe the redhead was just being selfish and refused to believe that he was missing something. There was no fucking way he was missing something. His former friend betrayed him, asking him to keep his eyes only on him, scratching his HOMRA mark. And he'd do so, he'd say over and over how much despise there was between the two of them. After all, who would miss a stupid traitor? Who would miss someone to sleep with at night? Who would miss that little smile which he was the only one who had ever gotten to see? If there was someone in this world, this person was definitely not Misaki. On the now third in command of Scepter 4's end, he was just used to being away from HOMRA's vanguard, though in the depths of his heart, there was that unsatisfied need of yelling those words to him, but he'd never admit it, as a fool like Misaki would never understand.

 

In between knifes and clashes among bats and swords, in between swearing and death threats and promises filled with hate and anger there was an absolute need for each other. Both of them had something to scream out loud, but neither of them did, was it because of fear of rejection or because hate seemed to be much stronger. _What I want isn't this half-hearted thing. Why can you still smile while looking at me? Why are you laughing?_

 

“I hate you. Stupid Monkey, go die. “Hate me, Misaki, keep your eyes only on me”. And that seemed right, neat and perfect, poisonous yet still the shield they both needed.

 

**IV**

 

“If you die without telling me anything, I'll never forgive you!” Misaki screamed, running and running in order to reach his destination. The thing was that after trying to understand why would Saruhiko betray the blue clan to join Jungle, now he knew that it was all a plan. As a consequence of that, Saruhiko was in danger, he could die. If he wasn't fast enough, _he could die._ And the redhead couldn't afford that, because he still wanted to understand and had a lot to tell him. Luckily enough, Sukuna from Jungle had only injured Saruhiko's leg. Carrying the hurt man on his back, Misaki said with no fear that Fushimi Saruhiko from Scepter 4 _really is amazing._ Back when they were still on middle school, the shorter boy would have been constantly voicing this feeling, but now it was more necessary than ever.

 

After they beat that brat, both were exhausted, but Misaki had to go, for his king's sake. That's why he hesitated a little when his hopefully friend again, asked him who was his most important person. “Anna”, said Misaki, “You”, he thought. Both of them had lectured that kid about reality and all this pointless stuff, but they both know they were still missing something really important. Sometimes the most crucial words weren't able to be voiced wholeheartedly, or they needed more effort to be voiced. What matters here is that when the faint possibility of Saruhiko dying crossed Misaki's mind, he had to _do something, to scream something, to tell that idiot not to die._ Because he may be a fool, hey may need people to explain things step by step for him to understand, but if Saruhiko tried, everything could be settled. The idea of them talking some more later, of all the broken pieces being slowly fixed gave Misaki a strange feeling he recalled having had back then.

 

**V**

 

“Let's talk some more later!” Easy to say, harder to do. Having gone through a tough experience together, where one of them could have died, wasn't enough for them to sit down and have that promised big talk. Now they were even living together again, it had been a few months since the destruction of the Slate and their reconciliation. Everything was way too perfect and that blissful happiness couldn't be destroyed by a simple talk. The truth is that they were both afraid of pouring their heart out to the other, so they clung onto pointless moments when they threw soda on their faces, nights watching movies together with Saruhiko predicting everything and Misaki getting angry at his friend. But eventually, everything ended up feeling so wrong and artificial. It was like they were constantly looking for excuses in order to avoid silence, as when silence crowded the room they were in, it was easier for them to lose it. When something like that happened, the redhead would stare at the black haired boy using his laptop, examining his profile, his slender figure, that pale skin glowing due to the computer's light. On Saruhiko's end, staring at his friend and wanting to talk to him about what he had been wanting to say for forever, was also tough as hell. Of course, there arrived a day when this simply got too far. They were eating dinner in complete silence. They had been an hour without saying anything. _A fucking hour_.

 

“Why are you that quiet all of a sudden?” Misaki asked, both of them avoiding eye contact because dinner was so interesting, why not.

 

“Because you aren't saying anything as well, idiot” Saruhiko replied, clicking his tongue.

 

“But you were spacing out, you didn't even look at me”

 

“Neither did you”

  
“All right, I've had enough! I'm looking at you right now. I told you to say things in a way I could understand, so do it. _Right now!”_ Misaki shouted angrily, hitting slightly the table with one of his hands, daring to lift his face in order to glance at the boy in front of him.

 

“Didn't you say we'd “talk some more later”? Why have you been avoiding it?”  
  
“Why did you do it?”  
  
“Because you did as well”

 

“Saruhiko, for god's sake, I'm tired of this shit! If I wasn't in love with you I would have punched you in the face 100 times alread-” Realizing what he had just said, Misaki went bright red, got on his feet and stumbled to their room, leaving Saruhiko, still surprised, eyes wide open and mind completely blank. Maybe Misaki wasn't that of an idiot after all. In just a rushed sentence, he had found the answer of what where those words he had always been trying to say at the top of his lungs, but unlike Misaki, wasn't able to do that. But even though they still haven't talked seriously about the rift between them, Saruhiko had promised to try explaining things in an understandable way. Thereby, he left his chair and entered their bedroom, only to find Misaki curled under a blanket.

 

“You sleep on the couch today, you asshole”  
  
“Why can't I sleep with the asshole I'm in love with?”  
  
“What?” At that, the redhead got off the bed and run towards Saruhiko, stopping a few centimeters away from his face.

“What”

“What did you just say”  
  
“What you just heard”  
  
“Saruhiko this is no jok-” But he couldn't end the sentence, because he was now trying to believe that _Saruhiko was hugging him._ Unlikely most of the time, words were now unable to leave Misaki's mouth, so he chose to bury his face in the taller boy's chest. Maybe that was the moment to have that promised talk, maybe that was the moment to proudly claim that finally, both of them  could express what they have been dying to say with their hearts on their slevees for a few years, which felt like forever.

 

**Author's Note:**

> And here I am again, first time I write something for those two longer than 1K words! I'm sorry for the anon who sent me the prompt on tumblr, this has gotten longer than expected (?)
> 
> As I always say, excuse the typos, the OOc and if you feel like sending prompts or just if you want to talk or smth like that, you can find me on weakeninghope.tumblr.com 
> 
> I hope you enjoy ~


End file.
